Today was day 15 for Louisiana’s stay at home order.  It was initially set to end yesterday, but now has been extended up to the end of the month.  I firmly believe it will continue to stay in effect considerably longer than that.

Today I bought bleach at a coffee shop.  I did.  Daily Press, which I believe is a local chain, had bleach, toilet paper, paper towels, and gloves for sale.  Someone in that company was smart enough to take a lemon and make lemonade.  They haven’t been getting much business lately due to the pandemic and people are beginning to stay home, so they played on the law of supply and demand.  Boy, did they play it well.  The items they are selling are items they are using for their establishment.  I call that brilliance!  So, after getting my coffee and my hospital grade bleach, I went grocery shopping.  Interesting, no?

After meal planning and wanting to try new recipes while I have a chance, I was excited to go out and do that dreadful duty also known as grocery shopping.  Or grocery gettin’, depending on what part of the country you are from.  I didn’t see as many people out and about in comparison to what it has been, so I thought I’d be able to actually take my time and enjoy this daunting task.  Well, I was wrong.  The shelves are still bare.  I’m not worried about the whole toilet paper thing.  I mean, after all, Daily Press has that covered if need be, right?  The meat, the bread, the milk, the eggs, the whatever else I really need, all gone.  I’m beginning to understand the hoarders’ actions.  I really am.  I’m also almost sick of chicken, and I only had it tonight.  Chicken just seems to be readily available.  I’m about to have to get really creative or see if Bubba Blue has any suggestions.

While I was out today, I noticed what people I did see, taking viral prevention precautions.  The masks they wore probably wouldn’t have any more protection than my unmasked self, but at least they are taking this pandemic seriously.  I’ve noticed signs in town of closings or different ways of doing business.  I even saw McDonald’s restaurant has resorted to delivering.  That’s a first.  The town has a different feel to it.  Not quite ghostly just yet, but a definitely a different aura.  I must photograph it. One day, I will want photographs of the way it was in 2020.  That’s my plan for tomorrow.  I may even find some to sell to the local paper.  Who knows?

Anyway, nothing special.  That was just my day.

 

Today I stumbled across some great news!  The trails in our parks are actually open! Not to wallow in the fact that I didn’t know this and could have been releasing some pent up energy all this time, but man, I didn’t know this and could have been releasing  some pent up energy all this time!  Did I lose you?

This is truly a game changer for me.  We didn’t work on the mobile home today, but I did get out of the house and went to a short walking trail in town called Restoration Park.  It’s a small 1.5 mile track, but it’s secluded in the woods which makes it feel a little more primitive.  I had Emily and her dog with me, otherwise I would have walked it several times, and faster.  We came across a snake on the path that would have, under normal conditions, sent me home never to return.  However, my dire need to get moving had me forgetting about the incident until just now.  It was a beautiful day and I felt, well, restored.

I thought about yet another plan I had for this year.  My birthday is Thursday and by this time, my plan was to get in better shape and learn to paddle board.  I look at what the weather was like today and think about how nice it would have been to actually be in the physical state I could have been in by now, had I stuck to my plan.  I’m just a few months behind.  No sulking.  Just refocusing.  I just have to keep the mindset.  Restoration takes a little time.

 

 

 

 

Obviously it’s been a while since I’ve posted.  I hadn’t thought much of anything has happened to log, but in all actuality, history is in the making.  As boring as these days may seem, it’s still worth noting for the future.

For the sake of brevity, I don’t want to go into detail about today’s pandemic of Covid-19, but for the sake of remembrance, I would like to at least talk about how it’s affecting my world.

The job interview I had mentioned before, didn’t work out.  It’s ok though.  It had given me hope when I needed it the most.  I had a couple interviews at one of the local hospitals here and things looked great.  Orientation and background checks were in order.  Of course, everything came to a halt when this pandemic closed the doors of jobs that weren’t vital to anything but the focused virus.  That’s ok too.  I completely understand that.  It’s only temporary.  I pray we get through these enigmatic days soon and come out of them with improved thought patterns about what’s important.

I’ve been more idle than I’d like to admit.  I’ve done things I’m ashamed of, like giving in to watching that Netflix documentary called “Tiger King.”  I’m not one to give my time to entertainment that isn’t substantial in some way.  I’m not a snob, I just like substance, and this ranked in my book about as high as “Napoleon Dynamite” back in the day.  I shutter thinking about it.  So, with the realization of how much time was wasted, I didn’t turn the tv on at all today and surprisingly, was very productive around the house.  I also began thinking of all the things I had wished I had time to do, pre-Covid and pre-unemployment,  and I went from using my emotional brain to my cognitive brain.  And I like it.

I mention this for journalistic reasons, but I remembered all the time I didn’t have when in school, and how I’ll be going back soon.  Anatomy and Physiology, though fun and exciting to learn, a semester is simply not enough time to learn it in.  Not for this older mind anyway.  I did well in it before.  I did.  At the beginning of the semester anyway.  I would feel on top of the world going into class and understanding exactly what my professor was talking about.  As time progressed, I fell behind because it is so so so much reading and learning.  It’s not hard to learn, but LEARNING 150 pages in a week’s time just didn’t fit into my lifestyle  at the time.  However, I also remember trying to find more productive ways of learning this material, so often, that I spent more time trying to organize it than I did actually studying it.  So, as one of my quarantine activities to keep me sane from cleaning nothing but laundry, dishes, and toilets, I’m going to find that system that works for me and study as I go along.  Hopefully, I’ll be quite prepared when that semester rolls around.  One day.

I did work on some property yesterday.  We pressure washed a mobile home and by pressure wash, I mean I mostly scrubbed with a brush while the other used the pressure washer.  I feel it today.  My arms are sore, but man, it feels so good.  I’m back at it tomorrow on another one.  It makes me really want those gyms to open up again.  I’m having a hard time finding a way to work out at home.  I think it bores me, maybe?   Maybe it’s awkward, even if I am alone?  I’ll have to figure out what exactly is stopping me.  I have been struggling in my mind about my location, not being able to get out.  There really is no place to walk with everything shut down right now.  I live 2 miles from the interstate, yet the highway I live on has no shoulders and is very winding with trees blocking views around those curves.  I’d like to stay alive, so I can’t go on foot on it.  We just threw out my treadmill about a month ago.  It worked.  We just didn’t have a space for it.  Regret level is high.  So, so high.

I’m hoping to blog more often.  I started this thing mostly for a journal anyway, so maybe, just maybe I’ll post tomorrow.

 

 

Why do our cars seem to drive smoother with a full tank of gas? Or all of a sudden, a good amount of stress is lifted when we get a couple extra bucks in our pocket, even though we have no intention on spending it?  That psychological effect was felt deep enough a few days ago when I was selected to choose between 3 dates and times for a phone interview for a job I applied for a few weeks ago.  It brought me to tears just to have the chance.  The hope.

Someone’s been praying because I was interviewed this morning.

Those interview questions, though, right?  So terrifying.  Stating my greatest strength…I don’t even know what I said.  I think my organizational skills and attention to detail are high, but probably didn’t mention either of those.  My greatest weakness, I mean obviously it’s those squirrel moments I have, am I right?  I do believe it went well, but I would just love to sit in front of the interviewer rather than have a phone conversation with someone who’s probably judging my customer service voice that I totally lack.  Aren’t those voices the worst?

“Hello!  Thank you for choosing our business!  This is Lori!  How can I help you today?”   Said, in the squeakiest of mousy voices.

Ugh, I just can’t.

Seriously though, this is a field I worked in before I got involved in any property managing, preservation, or flipping.  Even before hotel management.  This is a field I love and messed up by leaving a few years ago because I was too overwhelmed with everything going on in my life.  I almost didn’t even want to mention it until it’s certain.  The cool thing is, it has room for growth and within the next 6 months, they will be opening another branch and will need someone to run it.  It’s definitely something I would excel in while working on myself.

Fingers crossed.  Heads bowed.

 

 

 

It’s 2:00am and I’m stuck between sleepy, wide awake, and knowing I’m going to have a rough day beginning in just a few hours if my body doesn’t decide to just lie down and get some ZZZZs.  So, here I am, hoping the Sandman doesn’t disappoint me like Santa has for decades.  Thanks, Santa.

While tossing and turning tonight, I remembered a resolution I forgot about before the year even started.  I had planned to keep a gratitude journal this year.  At least one thing, I was grateful for every single day, I had planned to record.  I even typed it into my to do list in my phone.  And that’s where that aforementioned ADHD comes into play.  I haven’t done it yet and a month has passed.

Several years ago, I read a book by Ann Voskamp called One Thousand Gifts.  While reading it, I have to admit, I visited an online dictionary with every page I read because Ann Voskamp has a vocabulary that would probably put Mr. Webster to shame, but I pressed on.  As she sucked me in to her world of gratitude, I began thinking this chick was insane.  She thanked God for the suds in her dishwater?  I mean, come on!  Until.  UNTIL.  One day, I realized I was just ridiculously as crazy as she was.  I will honestly remember this one particular experience for the rest of my life.  The family and I were outside clearing out some brush that surrounded our property.  At the time, my marriage was failing, but I was bound and determined, I was going to change that.  I had become so engulfed with making things better, being present, being that wife and mother God called me to be, that I was doing whatever it took to make it happen.  I was in the middle of reading this book, and making mental notes on the daily of at least one thing I was grateful for, and trying for none of those things I was grateful for to be anything materialistic.  The wind picked up that day and I looked up and saw the leaves flowing across the sky above me in the most uniform pattern, not all willy nilly.  I cannot describe what I saw, exactly, but it put me in a trance for a short moment and that was what I was thankful for that day.

Do I sound like crazed idiot right now?  It’s not about the leaves or about some book I was reading at the moment.  It boils down to the way I was aware that day.  Aware of the fact that my family was a family if even for that moment.  THE VERY THING I craved so hard at that time was there in that moment and I will never forget that day.  I was aware that God was present and showing me that day my desires were not forgotten.  I was in the midst of a supernatural realm, completely unaware of anything else in existence other than my immediate surroundings of the family I was striving for.  I was grateful for that “high”.  I will always be grateful for that day, that realization.

I believe taking our very lives for granted happens to the best of us.  Don’t we just assume we will live on forever?  That everyone we know will also?  That there will always be a tomorrow?  I sure do.  There’s weight to the old adage “Stop and smell the roses”.  It applies to every aspect of our being, from marriage, raising children, our careers, the busyness of our days, and even our hobbies.  Most of the time, I think we are too worried about how to live that we forget how to live.  Does that only make sense to me?  If we aren’t living a life of gratitude, we allow everything to just happen without benefiting from the actual value of any of it.

There’s another old adage that belongs here.  “You never know what you have until it’s gone.”  In my case, right at this very moment, it’s sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was “one of those” people.  You know, the people who say things like “all that kid needs is a good spanking”, or “it’s all these video games these days and children aren’t getting enough exercise, get them outside where they can expel some of that energy.”  I believed doctors didn’t care and just dispensed the meds, or moms were needing it themselves under their child’s name..aka “mom crack”.

I have been told all my adult years how much “energy” I have.  I never could see what anyone was talking about.  I was/am always tired, it seems, and I had/have the unfinished projects to prove it.  I always knew I had the tendency to overload my plate, but that’s just because I have so many interests.  I’m well rounded, people. That’s all!

Come to find out, that “energy” they talked about was a nice way of saying my behavior was hyper, such as talking fast, getting extremely excited over what most would consider nothing, and fidgeting constantly.  Heck, I never gave it any thought other than I just wasn’t the type to sit and watch tv.  You know why?  Because if I sat and “watched” tv, my mind would race about all the things I needed to get done..about how much time I was wasting sitting there watching that screen.   If I could actually focus on what I was watching, I would fall asleep within a couple minutes.

That was a self compliment, wasn’t it?  Oh, I’m such a busy person.  I can’t sit still.  Shame on you for sitting on your rump being lazy. Tsk Tsk.  My justification for falling asleep during that programming session was because I was just simply exhausted from doing everything all day everyday.  Wait, then why were things always left unfinished?  Huh?

It wasn’t until I was in my early 40’s when someone addressed it clearly to me.  Now, I was and still am a major advocate for little to no drugs in your system.  The person who was telling me to go to the doctor was basically a walking pharmacy, so I gave no credit to their thoughts.

Then, life began to hit hard.  Really hard.  I could not keep up with anything anymore and there was nothing that I could drop off my plate.  Things had happened and right in the middle of it, I had to work more than 60 hours per week.  I had to go to school full time.  I had to raise my daughters alone.  I had to eat, for goodness sake!  I also had to sleep.  Some, anyway.

So, after almost a daily plea for me to go to the doctor to get checked out and breaking down into so many worthless tears, I finally went to our family doctor of 20 years.  All I said as the reason for visit was that I needed something to help me cope.

Again, I had been going to this doctor for 20 years.  He knew me and knew me well.  He walked into the room with his hand behind his back and told me to tell him what the issue was.  As I sat there and blabbered from one subject to the next and back, some stories with tears, some with laughter, he pulled out medication from behind his back and said these words, “I’ve been waiting on you to come to me with this for 20 years.”  After talking a little while longer, we talked about how coffee and energy drinks put me to sleep, and how non-drowsy medications make me sleep for 3 days.  He threw his head back and laughed, saying, “You have it baaaad!”

After accepting this condition to be real, that I’ve now been diagnosed with it myself, and seeing how well the medication helps me focus without feeling any different other than focused and productive, I’m going to have to let myself deal with how wrong I was.  I look back now in my childhood days and remember what was on every conduct area of my report card.  You know, those mean things teachers used to say like “talks too much”, or “doesn’t stay on task”.  Every single report card all my elementary days.

So, if you’ve been reading this blog, you know I’m without a job that provides health insurance.  So, I’ve gotten off my wonder pills and wish so hard to have them back.  I’ve learned a few things along the way to help me stay on task, even though it pretty much doesn’t help in the hyperactive part (so I hike), but definitely in the focusing part of my life.

I use a couple apps on my phone that has shown tremendous amounts of success for me.  One is called Focus Keeper where they use a digital pomodoro timer.  You stay focused for the set amount of time you choose.  At the end of each round, you have a break, then after that time is over, you go back to work for your designated time to focus.  Another one I like even more is called Forest .  It’s basically the same as Focus Keeper, but has a few more perks to it.  You grow virtual trees in your forest, and if you pick up your phone during your working session, your tree will die.  If you complete your focus session, your tree is planted in your cute little forest.  Why virtual trees are rewarding, I have no clue, but it works!

Having used these apps, it has made me realize just how little time it takes to do a certain activity.  Sometimes, I even find myself wanting to rush the break just so I can get back to work!  It has helped me study and do whatever needs to be done around the house.  The breaks even give me justification that it’s ok to sit for a minute and have some down time.

As for my kids, only one daughter suffers from ADHD.  She’s not convinced though, but she “has it baaaad!!!”

Lord, help her.

 

 

Have you ever had one of those moments when you are being so irrational, even you know deep down inside you aren’t making any real sense to the people getting blown up in your crazy minefield?  They all just look at you funny and try to stay out of harm’s way.  Of course, though, since they aren’t jumping to their feet, ready to worship you, you get even crazier?  I totally lost my ability to control myself last week.  I don’t know why it all of a sudden came over me.  All I know is that I didn’t like my atrocious behavior.  Times like these may be rare, but are times when I wish I had a neuralyzer (like from Men in Black) to erase that memory from the ones who were standing front and center in my personal battlefield.

My personal battlefield was exactly the root of the barbaric conduct.  At the time, though, it was everyone and anything not giving me what I wanted.

What a brat!

You see, I have technically been unemployed for the better part of 7 months.  I had to uproot where I was living the same day I became unemployed.  I still help flip houses with a friend, but right as this moment, I’m being paid by him to do hourly work, getting the flips ready.  He’s my business partner in the sense that the next home we find will be my own profit after flipping.  From that moment on, we will be true partners in the business.  The sad part is, right now, it’s so part time, I’m barely making enough to sustain myself.  If that.

I have spent countless hours on my computer applying for jobs.  I have allowed this to keep me tethered to my chair for longer than I’d normally be in one position.  Sitting more than I normally would, along with that therapeutic bag of chips in my hand, I’ve gained some weight.  Gaining weight, the only items I own that seem to fit are yoga pants and tee shirts. Even those are a select few now.  Not having the money to go anywhere, I don’t waste time putting on makeup.  Not having money, I give myself a pathetic haircut that looks like I gave myself a pathetic haircut.  Not having a decent paying job keeps me confined to this lifestyle where I can’t stand to be me, but everyone else around me needs to feel sorry for me and listen to me and my self pity.

Brat!

Do you know how many times I have analyzed this behavior and wanted to smack my own self over the head and scream, “WAKE UP!!”, and having the ability to recognize this negative downhill spiral and the knowledge to know why it’s happening?  Yet, I still make excuses and still do nothing to fight it.

However, I can’t say I’m depressed, because I’m not.  I’ve just been in my own little world of self pity, is all and it’s not pretty.

It’s so strange how I forget sometimes…I think we all do…the power of prayer.  I cannot count the truly miraculous experiences in my life where a simple little prayer changed the entire course of the craziness surrounding my world.  The most recent was just a couple days ago when my niece was in agony not being able to deliver her baby.  We had spent 22 hours at the hospital dealing with some rather rude nurses and incompetent doctors.  Feeling incredibly sorry for my niece, I just whispered a simple prayer, asking God to deliver that little baby so my niece could get relief.  I’m not even kidding you right now when I say she was at 4 centimeters at 8:00am until 9:55pm when I prayed and at 9:58pm she delivered that precious little 4 lb baby girl!  Try to tell me that’s not divine intervention.  Just try.

So, knowing these things, why haven’t I even thought about praying for myself?  Praying I find a job that will be fulfilling and sustaining?  God isn’t here to sit back and watch from the sidelines as I fall into a deep dark place where I lose myself and all I’ve worked for.  There have been so many times where I think about this and know to just pray.  Yet, I don’t.  Not for myself.  I also don’t believe he sits back with his arms crossed, head turned away and eyes closed in a rebellious way and thinks, “Nope, not gonna help ya out until ya mention it to me.”  NO!  I mean, do you, as a parent, sit back and watch your child walk right into a fire and say, “Well, she’ll get burned, but she has to learn somehow.” ???  Now, that’s not to say that he hasn’t requested us not to ask of him and let our requests be known, but, he has opened doors for me, I just haven’t been paying attention.  He has lead me to water, I just haven’t drank.  He’s been calling to me to let me know that fire will burn me, but I haven’t been listening.  It’s probably due to all the self pity I’ve decided to indulge in instead.  Wow, really?  I’ve been getting in my own way.

I’ve been such a brat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Continuing from part 1 of this post…
It has been 6 years since I put down my camera.  I’ve thought about it from time to time, but with working the regular 8-5 grind, going to college, dealing with things life was chucking hard at me, it would only be a passing thought.  I didn’t have time to think about it much anyway, much less really dig deep into it again.
A few weeks ago, I was talking with a friend/business partner, about things that make me tick.  What is it I do to escape from the chaos of the world around me.  While discussing hiking and a few other things, photography was thrown into the mix.  I began telling him about my photography past when he asked why don’t I just do it now.  I couldn’t give him an answer.  He said just do it, then.  Later that day, talking with my sister, she told me I needed to pick up my camera again.  Don’t these people understand, I’m done with photography?  A few days later, without mentioning that I used to somewhat have a photography business, a friend asked if I would take photos of her soon to be born newborn.  I told her I would.  She’s never even seen a piece of my work.  What was all this photography stuff people were all of a sudden talking to me about?  Was it a sign?  I’m not sure I believe in signs in that manner.  Either way, it intrigued me and since I couldn’t remember exactly why such little things took it from me to begin with, I began to study up on the latest props and techniques for newborn photography. Before I knew it, I was watching lighting techniques, tutorials, and shoot-offs.  I was then sucked into the vortex.
So, of course, I’m relearning, studying up on the most current trends for portrait photography, specifically newborn photography, figuring out things a little more clearly, and actually looking at it in a different light (no pun intended).  Before, I was focused on all the fun equipment I could get and never really learn how to use it.  (Auto mode queen, remember).  I was focused on never being good enough because I didn’t really feel I was that great at it.  I just knew I loved it.  I also compared myself to the greatest photographers out there and let the small things get in the way of my fun.

Today is a new day.  Today I dig out my camera and today I become a photographer.

What is your calling?  Your passion?  The one thing that interests you so much, you can’t get it out of your head, your heart?  I’ve never really been one to wonder, really.  I’ve always had so many interests, that each one seemed to hold it’s rightful place and percentage in my heart.  I’ve always felt I was a jack of all trades, master of none.  Being a pre-nursing student, medicine pulls hard on my “chordae tendineae”.  (see what I did there?)  I love woodworking, building things from basically nothing, (I’m not good at it). I love to write and am in the process of writing my first book.  I love learning.  Absolutely love learning.  I LOVE learning.  I also love photography.
I love photography.  I have loved it for as long as I can remember.  When I was about 9 years old, my dad owned a Kodak Disc camera.  I wanted it.  My siblings and I were given gifts from my dad.  They both received new items.  I managed to get the used, slightly scuffed Kodak Disc 4000 camera and I thought there was nothing else on Earth that could be any more cool than that.  It rocked!
I believe every picture envied by my family is one I actually took.  Not bad for a kid, right?  In all honesty, since I loved taking pictures so much, I was probably the one who took them all, so I can’t really brag on myself.  I have one I took of my sister mowing the lawn with a push mower, which may be treasured by myself more than by her.  As I got older, I was always the one with the camera.  I really don’t know if I just enjoyed taking pictures or just enjoyed having the pictures.  Either way, I had the camera and there are very few pictures of me in the collection of negatives.
Skip ahead a bit.  After the birth of my first daughter, I was offered an SLR from my husband’s aunt to use as long as I wanted.  I did.  That is what birthed my desire to have my own photography business.  I took pictures of my daughter and a little boy I babysat from time to time, using blankets as backdrops and going to flea markets for photo props.  I learned that SLR’s auto mode the best I could.  I was a 35mm queen in auto mode!  I had no idea what all those other dials were for, all I know is when I would turn that dial to anything other than auto, my pictures didn’t quite turn out as nice.  Sometimes, but hardly ever.  There was no YouTube back then and certainly no Google.
I still loved photography though.  My family supported me in it even though I never made a dime off it.  They just liked my photography.  Auto mode 35mm.  Then I got my own 35mm SLR, had a couple more little girls, and hardly took any pictures of them.  What is it they say?  A carpenter needs new cabinets, a mechanic has a broken down car in his yard?  Yeah, the irony.  I feel it.
Then digital cameras came out.  I acquired a DSLR or two, or several.  Then I decided to open up the whole idea of a photography business again.  Kind of.  I was still the one who took all the pictures everywhere I went.  I still wasn’t doing it in a serious fashion.  I just enjoyed it.  I began to learn more and somewhat got out of auto mode. The Internet was readily available, so I networked a bit, got my feet a little deeper in the water, went on a few photo walks, and got a little creative. I started to take portraits of friends and family members. I began to dream of a photography business once again and rented a home that had a building that was perfect for a photography studio.  It was actually a major selling point for me.

One day, randomly, I captured a picture of my baby niece and cropped everything out of the shot except her.  I had an online photo lab I used and submitted the photo to put on Gator-board.  The day I went to mail it to my sister, was the day I began to make my dream come true.  As I had that big photo in my hand standing in line at the post office, a lady was in awe of it and asked me all about it.  She then proceeded to ask me if I would take her son’s senior portraits.   I ecstatically accepted the challenge.  This was a Wednesday.  She needed them taken by Friday.  We did that photoshoot.  Then afterward, she asked if they would be ready by Monday.  Guess what I did all weekend long?  She got the digitals, but the actual prints, she had to wait a couple weeks.  She almost broke my spirit.  I mean, she did… until she paid me.  That profit made me go all in and never look back.  For a moment, anyway.
Shortly after, I had a maternity, baby shower, newborn photo opp.  I shot the maternity.  I shot the baby shower, and since I trusted the relative of the subject, I didn’t ask for a deposit.  I was even naïve enough to give the photos through email “for viewing only”.  Then I saw the photos posted on social media…edited with junk photo editing software and no skill.  I also never knew when the baby was born and never got a dime from them.  In the meantime, I had acquired several  more shoots, but I had lost my love for photography.  I thought I did, anyway.  Now, I realize I just didn’t like people and their love for posting preproduction freebie photos and ruining my image.  So, I gave it up.

To be continued…

Hi there!
So it’s 2020 already?  A week into 2020 has passed already?  How?  Why does time move at such an accelerated pace the older we get?  I almost cringe when my girls mention memories of their childhood as if their childhoods were decades long.  How can they act as if between the ages they were in kindergarten and high school were anything more than just 8 years?  Yet in those 8 short years, they are able to tell stories that would make Marcel Proust’s work seem like a newspaper article. But, here in the now, as this new year, new decade storms into action, it’s time for me to take action with my plans for my life and with loads of consideration, I’ve decided to start this blog and journal my life to the world and to document for self reflection.
I’m a mother of 3 girls who are somehow now grown women, a grandmother to a strong willed, precious blonde haired little 2 1/2 year old boy who loves me more than I deserve, and a woman who has decided to rediscover herself in a way that Antonio Damasio would be proud. I have so many interests, hobbies, responsibilities, beliefs, opinions, ideas, likes and dislikes, and skills I should transform into trades, etc.  The list goes on and on because, well, I’m human.  As this blog rolls on, the facets of who I am will inevitably show, so…
Here I am, in the raw.